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_____?” the officer asks me.I just shake my head and said, “Yes, officer. And that little woman leaning on you is my mother. She wasn’t driving, was she?”“Oh no,” the officer said. “The bartender called to say there were two ladies sort of sleeping on a table in the bar and they weren’t leaving. I checked their ID’s and realized they lived close by, so I thought it would be better just to drop them at their homes. Here you go.”As the officer let mom go, she fell into my arms and nearly knocked us both over. I said, “Thank you, officer, I’ll take it from here.” With that, I closed the door, took mom over to the couch and flopped her down.Mom looked up at me through her drunken state, smiled and said, “Donny, what are you doing at the bar?”“You’re not at the bar, mom. You’re home. A police officer brought you here.” The whole time I’m telling her where she is, she’s taking off her clothes and tossing them to the ground.“God, it’s hot in here. Help me get these things off,. " Her eyes grew distant. "I've done some crazy stuff..." Really?" Don't ask." But did you enjoy it?" Yeah, at the time. Later, I was disgusted sometimes." Didn't you have to be, more or less, in order to shut it off?" I probed.Karen shook her head, her face screwed up. "Where are you going with this?" Is it about being married, or about having someone else run things?" I asked."I don't see how they're that different..." I do," I told her. "If you want someone else to be in charge of your life -- especially your sex life -- that's not marriage, by and large. But there ARE people who will do that shit -- me, for instance." I don't understand." You don't stand a snowball's chance in Hell of marrying me," I told her. "That's straight up. But I WILL OWN your ass, until one or both of us gets tired of it." What? You'll OWN me?" Yup. You do what I say, when I say it. You jump when I yell frog. In return, I take care of you." How?" What do you want? A husband -- or protection, approval, and a.
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